Why You Should Feel Fabulous Even If You’re Deep In Debt

Let’s face it, being in debt doesn’t typically give anyone a warm and fuzzy feeling, but I’m here to change that today. Growing up poor on the right side of the tracks meant I was constantly comparing myself to my peers and wishing I lived in a big house like all of my friends. As an adult, those lingering feelings of inadequacy manifested by cycling in and out of consumer debt. So I’m here to tell you that I understand how you got here. And with that, let’s talk about why you should feel fabulous even if you’re deep in debt.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally decided enough was enough and I made a commitment with my husband to take our finances seriously. Topping our list was creating a budget, eliminating debt, and increasing our savings rate. ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Easy? No. Doable? Yes. Our debt included credit cards, student loans, and car loans, and mortgages.

We adopted extreme frugality

Eventually, we traded in extreme frugality for the selective kind. We still aim to save as much money as possible on things we enjoy but we also give ourselves permission to spend on occasion as well.

Fast forward, today we’re debt-free, except for our mortgages (we have a primary house and two rentals), and blazing a path toward financial independence through selective frugality and thoughtful living.

3 Reasons You Should Feel Fabulous Even If You’re In Debt

1. You’re Not Alone

Let me shout this from the mountaintop. If you’re in debt, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Debt is a nasty little word and sometimes it makes us feel terrible about ourselves. Believe me, I’ve been there.

When I was in my early 20s I met a guy that was a lot of fun. Before I knew it, we were hanging out all the time, I was meeting his friends, and we were in a relationship. It was a relationship that just kinda happened with very little thought on my end.

Despite always wanting to achieve financial success and grow up like my friends’ parents, I allowed this single relationship to derail my early progress. And I let it drag on for nearly eight years. I watched myself save for retirement and also rack up credit card debt on new clothes, tech gadgets, and non-stop eating out. Not only did we eat out all the time but we also paid for our friends to eat out with us because they couldn’t afford to do so. I mean, you can only hear I forgot my wallet so many times before you get the hint and just offer to pay in advance.

After eight years of living a life that wasn’t authentic, I had built up a nice chunk toward my retirement but I also cycled in and out of credit card debt several times and I was still carrying student loans.

Then, I turned 30 and my world fell apart.  The relationship ended, I moved out of the dream house and started over in an apartment with four lawn chairs and my two cats. To say I felt awful about my emotional and financial situation is an understatement.

At the time, I felt like I was the only person in the world who had messed up by staying in a bad relationship for such a long time and didn’t have their finances together.

Looking back, I know how silly it was to think that. I’m sure you might feel similarly about your current situation. But, trust me, there are tons of people out there with debt that feel just like you do.

2. Your Net Worth Is Not The Same As Self Worth

Moving into that apartment with nothing at 30 years old made me feel like an absolute failure and like I was making another huge mistake. On top of it all, since I moved into an apartment and not into the house I was renting to my parents, I was forced to stop contributions to my 401K and IRA. I wasn’t even getting the match and I kept that zero contribution rate for years.

Looking back on that time of my life I realize now that moving into that apartment was not a mistake. It was necessary to help me heal and reinvent myself as a powerful, independent woman. Yes, it cost me quite a few years of retirement contributions and matching money but it gave me a whole new life. A life in which I was open to meeting new people, including my current husband.

So even though you have debt and it seems like you made poor decisions in the past, stop and think about those decisions. It just might be that you made those decisions based on circumstances out of your control, misinformation, or from a place of emotional instability. Even if that’s not the case and it’s simply a matter of irresponsibility, so be it. Let the past be the past. Embrace it and use it to shape a stronger emotional and financial future.

3. You’re Here And Committed

Welcome to the rest of your life. From this moment forward you are in a position of power. You’re here and you’re committed to taking control of your money by eliminating your debt. Congratulations. Many people never get this far.

Now, I want you to combine the three things above. You’re not alone, you’re net worth does not determine your self-worth, and, you’re here! You should be starting to feel pretty fabulous by now! Why? Because you’re owning your situation and taking a step in the right direction which will change the entire course of your life.

The best part about it is this: When you get to the other side and you’re debt-free, you’re going to have one heck of a story to tell that’s going to help other people ditch their debt and start a new life.

Make A Plan To Do Money Better

Now that you’re feeling fabulous it’s time to take action. Part of making a plan is knowing what you spend your money on, how much debt you have, and how much income you’re working with. In other words, it’s called making a budget and committing to it.

I recently read a survey published on Debt.com that said even though most people believe in budgets and believe other people should budget, they don’t actually do it themselves. It also stated that a high percentage of people don’t budget because they believe they don’t make enough money to budget. Crazy, right?

Listen, I totally get it, I actually used to hate budgets and I even wrote a post about it when we started this journey. We didn’t use a budget because we felt we were so frugal that we didn’t need one. Wrong. Turns out, after we created a budget we found a few money leaks (I’m looking at you gym membership) of our own that we were able to curb.

In my opinion, the first step in budgeting is to see where your money is going. It’s really hard to create a budget if you don’t know what your monthly expenses look like. Oh, and by the way, what you think they look like and what they actually look like might be two very different things. I recommend combing through your bank and credit card statements and tracking how much cash you spend for a few months to get a good snapshot of your finances. That should give you the necessary information to dive into the world of budgets and create your own.

My friends Kelan and Brittany over at The Savvy Couple offer links to some awesome budget templates you can grab for free. Take a look to see if one of them might work for you.

One thing to keep in mind after starting your budget is that it’s a living document. That means it’s going to change, and, likely, month to month, based on your income, seasonal expenses, debt elimination, goals, etc. So don’t be alarmed and don’t think you’re done after the first month.

Related:

• Debt.com Budgeting Survey: Americans Think Everyone Else Should Do It
• How To Dig Your Way Out Of Debt When You Feel Hopeless
• Growing Up Poor Was My Single Biggest Financial Motivator
• How To Pay Off Your Credit Cards – When No One Wants To Help You
• Episode 18: Feeling Fabulous With Debt

Find Your Motivation

Now that you have your budget, committing to it is the next step. In order to commit to your budget and make better choices, it’s vital to find what motivates you on your financial journey.

One of the best things we did when we started out was tracking our net worth using the free online tool Personal Capital (that’s my affiliate link). Whether we were paying down debt or funding our emergency fund, our net worth would climb. Seeing that progress each month kept us motivated to stay the course.

Another tool I recommend that was not around when we started our debt-free journey is the Supporti app. The Supporti app is a virtual accountability partner that pairs you with someone else who has a similar goal. For a low monthly fee you can create an avatar and get matched with someone who will keep you accountable and motivated. At the end of each week, you can choose to keep the same accountability buddy or get a new one. I so love this idea. Supporti is gearing up to launch but you can sign up to be alerted when they Go Live.

Aside from creating a budget and tracking our net worth, the other thing we did was to follow financial blogs and listen to podcasts. We even launched our own blog (this one) as a way to keep us accountable and inspired to keep going. I’m happy to say the combination thereof has worked and we’re currently out of debt (except for the mortgages) and well on our way to financial independence.

What’s your biggest motivator for getting out of debt?