This post may contain affiliate and/or partnered content. Please read our disclosure for details.
Let’s start by discussing the definition of retirement. And that is ceasing to work or withdrawal from active working life. It doesn’t mean you leave one job for another. It doesn’t mean you quit your cubicle for an entrepreneurial or remote gig. And it doesn’t mean you do odd jobs that you enjoy in an attempt to be flexible in times of market downturns. It means you do not work again, for someone else or for yourself.
Back in 2015, we were just starting our lives together. So despite being a little bit older (30s and 40s), we were in the midst of planning our wedding, looking for a bigger house, and spending money like crazy in restaurants and on anything else that struck our fancy. I mean, c’mon, we were in love. And anyone who’s ever been in love can attest to that feeling of euphoria that makes you see the world through very distorted glasses.
My Bumpy Financial Beginning
As my longtime readers know, I’ve been interested in personal finance ever since I was a little kid growing up in a tiny trailer on the right side of the tracks. I saw my friends living in big, beautiful houses and their parents working professional jobs and all I wanted was to be like them.
My parents worked in laborious jobs and never even earned middle-class incomes, let alone high incomes. I watched them bring paychecks in and spend every last cent on our trailer mortgage, ground rent, food, groceries, and utilities.
Well, that’s not exactly true. They didn’t spend every cent they earned on those things. There was money leftover since we lived in such a small home. But it was the 80s – the decade of decadence and excess wealth. Everywhere you looked someone was showing off their status with flashy clothes and fast cars. So whatever was left over after paying our monthly expenses, my mom made sure we spent. It was spent on new furniture, new clothes, and anything else that my mom deemed we needed to look like we didn’t live in a trailer.
And it’s true when we were out and about no one ever would’ve guessed that we lived in a trailer. But, alas, we did live in a trailer. And although we didn’t fill a lot of the trailer stereotypes out there, my parents never planned for the future. Not a dime was saved for their golden years.
In fact, my father practically worked up until the day he died at 90 years old. My mother was left alone and continues to rely on financial assistance from her children to keep her minimal lifestyle afloat.
With that kind of upbringing, it’s not surprising that I was always fascinated with the idea of making and having a lot of money. I never wanted to be in a position of financial compromise and I NEVER wanted to live in a trailer again.
My Mama Told Me To Save, Save, Save
Interestingly enough, even though my mom and dad didn’t model a strong financial acumen, my mom did drill into my head what I should do with money. I was told from a very young age, over and over again the following things:
- Get an education
- Save for retirement as soon as you get a job
- Open an IRA
- You need to have good health insurance
- Always have your own money
- Make sure you can support yourself and never depend on anyone else
I carried those preachings with me my entire life and tried to apply them as much as possible. I knew from that young age on that she was right, even if she didn’t practice what she preached.
Although it was a bit of an uphill battle, by the time I was in my mid-20s, I had that college degree in hand and was working in a well-paying job.
Throw in a few relationships here and there and the next decade of my life turned out to be a mixed financial bag of two steps forward one step backward. I listened to my mom and started saving for retirement as soon as possible with that first job, but I also allowed myself to fall into credit card debt, car loans, and even a 401k loan at one point. *Gulp*
So, yeah, I did “good”, but I also did “bad”. I’m sure I’m not the only one. There are very few people who do “good” from the start. I’m not writing to those people. I’m writing for the people who went off the rails and are working their way back to the road and, eventually, hopefully, the financial fast track.
Related:
- My Mama Always Told Me To Have My Own Money
- How I Save A Ton Of Money On Makeup And Still Look Fabulous
- Why Aren’t More Gen-Xers On FIRE?
Enter The FIRE Movement
By the time I hit my mid-30s I had managed to save a healthy amount of money toward retirement – thanks to that job I landed 10 years back – and I finally met the man of my dreams.
After he popped the ultimate question, we decided we weren’t kids anymore and really needed to focus on debt elimination and wealth accumulation. So I did what anyone would do, I turned to Google. And that’s when I stumbled upon the FIRE movement.
Whoa. I had NO IDEA there was this whole underground movement happening where people were saving 50%+ of their incomes and retiring at our ages and younger to live off of their fortunes by withdrawing 4% each year.
Until that moment, I never even heard of the 4% rule to accommodate early retirement. Early retirement?? I mean, really, I was blown away, smitten even, with the idea and the community. I even started this blog to chronicle our own financial journey.
After all, we were earning respectable salaries. We could save 50%+ or more of our incomes, too. So, we did. We embraced extreme frugality, cut the cable, stopped frequenting our favorite pizza places and coffee shops and didn’t buy any new clothes. I even considered riding my bike to work at one point. Until I thought about it realistically and concluded I would be risking my life by doing so. I don’t care how many bucks I could save, leaving my daughter without a mother wasn’t worth it.
We lived like misers to save for early retirement and determined that we could call it quits in 2021, employ the 4% rule, and live The Dream.
Two Separate Careers and Perspectives
When I say we, I really mean me. Mr. Mad Money Monster was never on board with the concept of early retirement. Why? The answer is simple; he loves his career.
So why then was I so gung-ho about retiring early? I mean, I didn’t (and still don’t) hate my career. I’ve always been extremely appreciative and aware that my job has afforded me a fun, safe work environment, cool co-workers, and even trips across the country and abroad.
So, I ask the question again. Why was I so on board with retiring early to live a modest life on a small annual income derived from investments? Well, after 4 years of blogging and a lot of reflection, I can say that I was entranced by the concept of early retirement because I bought The Dream. I bought the dream hook, line, and sinker.
After finding FIRE, I didn’t want to work anymore. The idea of going into the office started to become a drag and I started to hate Sunday nights – like I was supposed to. Scrolling through my social media feeds did nothing but reinforce this misery as I Liked posts that talked about having a case of the Schmondays – you know, when the anxiety of Sunday evening morphs into Monday and your mental health starts to deteriorate in preparation for work in the morning.
Let me backtrack for just a moment and say yet again that I never hated my job until I discovered the FIRE movement. The feeling of dread continued to build with each Instagram scroll and every early retirement post I read.
Related:
- Ditch The Financial Gimmicks For A Better Life
- 9 Money Hacks That Took Us From The Poorhouse To The Penthouse
Selling The Early Retirement Dream
Eventually, I noticed something noteworthy about the FIRE community, most of the people in it, or at least those blogging, podcasting, and writing books about it were earning money from those ventures. So while they might’ve ditched their cubicle, they certainly didn’t ditch earned income to live strictly off of their investments. A lot of the people were merely pitching the dream of retiring early to sell their products, services, etc.
Listen, I have absolutely no issues with someone getting paid for their products or services. I do, however, wish the people who retired early but still earn money and don’t truly live off of investments alone would be a bit more transparent about it.
Then I started hearing multiple definitions of retirement. Early retirement doesn’t mean you stop working for money. It means you might stop working or you might not. You might choose to work odd jobs or create your own business, or blog, or whatever to earn extra cash to supplement your nest egg and keep it growing as long as possible without dipping into it. WHAT? What planet was this? To me, retirement always meant NOT working. I believe that’s what Merriam Webster says too. Even with the plethora of early retirement definitions being tossed about, I was still enthralled with the concept. I thought if I could only build up my blog to the point where it replaced my present corporate income (plus benefits), that I could walk away from my cube forever.
With my blog, I’d be working for myself, making my own schedule, and not answering to anyone else. Oh, but wait, I would be answering to someone else. I’d be answering to all of my readers and potential people and companies who might sponsor me.
The very first sponsored post I landed confirmed my suspicion that working for yourself isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You’re never really working for yourself. Before I knew it I was signing a contract with deliverables and deadlines and stipulations. Turns out, my side hustle was just like my corporate gig except even more stressful because I didn’t have the backing of a big company. If things went awry, it fell solely on me. What if I got sick and couldn’t meet the deliverables? I couldn’t call out or ask another team member to take over. Again, it was ALL on me.
After this slap in the face, I decided to do something I hadn’t done since I found FIRE. I took a step back and tried to objectively analyze early retirement with all of its definitions and how it would fit into my life.
Early Retirement Analysis
I started this analysis by looking at my job. I’m working in my field of study and I’m really making a difference with my work. Ultimately, my collective work saves lives. And that is a very good feeling.
Not only do I enjoy my work (most days), but I also like working in my brick and mortar building, earn a pretty good salary with excellent benefits, and have fun doing it.
On top of all of this, my employer upped the ante last year by offering me the option to work from home 2 days a week. I didn’t even ask to have this option, they just gave it to me. Yet another reason for me to NOT hate my job.
With my current situation, I have career security. No job in itself is safe, but there are certain careers that are, and I have one of those careers. I also have a family that depends on my income and health benefits and I’m not about to let them down to chase some dream that may or may not pan out. I know I’m speaking like a true member of Generation X – but I don’t care. Sometimes, it’s not all about me, especially when there isn’t enough time ahead to counteract such a potentially fatal financial decision.
I’m currently in my early 40s with a husband, little girl, 2 cats, 2 dogs, and 2 houses (one is a rental property, one is our home, and both have mortgages). Since my income is the steady, dependable income in our small family, I decided I’m not willing to easily give it up for early retirement to live on 4% of our investments in a few years. After taking a deep dive into what it would mean for our family for me to retire early, I felt irresponsible and selfish.
In short, I ditched the dream and felt relieved.
Ditching The Dream Of Early Retirement
After realizing that most people who retire early still earn money, the concept of early retirement lost a lot of its luster for me. Basically, for most early retirees, pulling the trigger just means switching careers and hoping they earn enough money that they don’t have to touch their nest egg, or they earn enough to supplement it so they don’t deplete it entirely in a market downturn or before they pass on.
And I know that you can always go back to work in a financial crisis. But, can you really? I’m guessing that any situation that causes an early retiree to go back to work is the very situation that will make it difficult or impossible to get another job in the first place. Not only is it more difficult to land a job in economic downturns, but it’s also more difficult when you’re older with outdated skills.
Although I’m not ancient, I still lived long enough to see the effects that money, or a lack thereof, has on people as they age. And I don’t want to take the chance of running out. So, ditching the concept of retiring early in exchange for keeping my job with the good salary and benefits seemed like an obvious choice.
We Ditched The Idea Of Early Retirement And Felt Relieved
With a renewed appreciation for my job, coupled with extreme frugality fatigue, and the growing desire to leave legacy wealth for our family’s future generations, we stopped chasing the early retirement dream that the internet was selling.
The moment we stopped chasing early retirement and embraced our current careers and position in life was the EXACT moment we felt a wave of relief wash over us. We no longer needed to deprive ourselves of all indulgences or find cheaper or free alternatives for everything we wanted.
Don’t get me wrong, we still do try to find cheaper or free alternatives to things. That’s just a part of doing money better. When we succeed, we invest the difference to build our wealth.
Related:
- Why I Love My W-2 Job And You Should Too
- Legit Reasons You Shouldn’t Want The Corner Office
- Operating With An Attitude Of Gratitude On The Path To Financial Independence
A Plethora Of Reasons To Give Up On Early Retirement
Of course, there are many reasons we came up with for ditching the dream of early retirement. The first being, we don’t want to live a spartan lifestyle just so we can continue to live a spartan lifestyle in early retirement and beyond. And here are 10 more reasons…
-
My salary and benefits
Mr. MMM also earns a good income, but his income is variable and unpredictable and without any benefits. My income is the complete opposite. Therefore, it’s extremely important for my family for me to keep my corporate job.
-
Healthcare
I’m not going to sugarcoat this one. I know that insurance doesn’t always cover everything and you can still certainly end up with major bills, but I definitely feel more secure with it. Since I have such excellent benefits through my job, no one in my family delays routine or preventative visits.
And if there is a medical issue of concern, we make an appointment with a specialist without giving it a second thought. No referrals are necessary. I can tell you if I didn’t have insurance like this, it’s possible we wouldn’t want to spend the money and we would delay specialist appointments to the potential detriment of our long-term health.
-
Our parents
Both Mr. Mad Money Monster and I have aging parents without much money banked. My mother and his father could easily need financial assistance in the future and we want to be in a position to help them with whatever we possibly can.
-
Our daughter
We have a young daughter that is growing up fast. With each passing year, we watch as she forms ideas and opinions of her own for how she wants her life to play out. At her young age, she will likely change her mind a million times before making a concrete decision, but when she does, we want to be at her back every step of the way.
If she decides to go to college or a trade school, we want to be able to pay for it. In full. You might disagree, but that’s what we want for her. Neither one of us had that ourselves so we want to provide that for her.
If she decides to march down the aisle someday, we also want to pay for that. Or, at least a big chunk of it. I know that might sound crazy but it’s what we want to do.
-
Rental properties
I love real estate and the idea of creating income through rental properties. We have one property so far but I’d love to acquire quite a few more to add to our portfolio.
-
Buying a different house or upgrading our current one
We’re sitting pretty in our small home at the moment, but it’s not in an ideal location. I absolutely love that our small home with its small mortgage, taxes, and utility costs allows us to save and invest a lot of money, but I’m not sure I’m going to be happy here for the long haul. As everyone knows, it’s all about location, and this location isn’t ideal.
So even though it’s a great home, I want the option to change course without significantly impacting our future. If we retire early, this wouldn’t be an option.
-
Big holidays
I’ve always been a big holiday nut. I look forward to the holidays all year long and love having the entire family over and hosting the get-together and meal. This takes, you guessed it, MONEY. And since we’re going to continue to work, we’re going to continue to host our big holidays. Just the way we like it.
-
Family vacations
Neither myself nor my husband grew up with family vacations. We both grew up in PA and I didn’t see the New Jersey beach until I was 12 years old. And even then, it was a day trip. There were no Disney vacations for me or trips to the Grand Canyon.
My husband’s experience was quite similar. He remembers a single family weekend vacation to Seaside Heights when he was allowed to order anything off the breakfast menu at a diner by the boardwalk. He went with blueberry pancakes and was ecstatic.
Although great memories, we want more for ourselves and our little girl. We want her to experience Disney and the Grand Canyon…and blueberry pancakes. So far, mission accomplished.
-
Restaurants, cars, and clothes, Oh my!
At the beginning of our FIRE journey, we cut out restaurants and embarked on a clothes-buying ban. Sure, we saved more money than we otherwise would have, but the extreme deprivation wasn’t worth it to us. We enjoy restaurants and we like buying new clothes now and then. Cutting everything to bare bones ultimately seemed like a gimmick to us and wasn’t sustainable.
So, we’re now more deliberate with our outings and purchases. We have learned to carefully balance saving and YOLO. So far, so good.
-
Legacy wealth
This is something you don’t hear much about in the early retirement space, but it’s definitely our goal. We see money as nothing more than opportunity. And since we didn’t have that opportunity given to us as children or young adults, we want to make sure we do the best with what we have and pass along any extra we accumulate.
With all of these things we want to do that require money – and a lot of it – early retirement just doesn’t fit the bill. There are just too many What Ifs for us when it comes to retiring early. We’re sticking with traditional work, saving and investing as much as we can, and just generally trying to be smart with managing our money.
While doing this, we occasionally consider available financial options that can provide good investment opportunities. For instance, an annuity can be a suitable tool for legacy wealth planning, offering the potential to secure a stable income stream for beneficiaries. By choosing the right options, you can ensure that you receive continued financial support during retirement and even after passing. While annuities are primarily designed for income during the annuitant’s lifetime, incorporating features that address legacy goals can make them a valuable component of an estate plan. Your financial advisor can help you find the best fixed index annuity that aligns with your specific legacy objectives.
Keeping The Blog And Shifting Focus
Even though I ditched the dream of early retirement, I’m not ditching the blog. In fact, I’m even launching a podcast. I love and always have loved personal finance. So if I can inspire a few people along the way to eliminate debt, save for their future, and have a more satisfying life, I’m all about doing that.
We want an enjoyable lifestyle NOW and LATER. And we’re guessing you do, too.
Doing Money Better
As I live and learn, I realize that the FIRE movement is a tiny segment of the population and that most other people aren’t looking for financial gimmicks, they’re looking for real inspiration to do money better for a more fulfilling life and future. Those are the people I’m speaking to and hope to inspire.
How do you feel about the early retirement movement?
50 Comments
Never give up on your dream. That is, unless you realize it was someone else’s dream!
As someone whose family spends a bit more than the average household, I’ve been a fan of the fatFIRE scenario. Maintaining a budget with plenty of fluff and fun, most of which costs money, while still achieving FI and possibly RE is the best of both worlds.
My retirement from medicine will be more of a career transition, and I’ve been open about that. I think most prominent FIRE bloggers have been pretty transparent in that regard, but certainly not all. For every blogger or podcaster making enough to live on from online activities, there are thousands who do actually FIRE and make it work without online income. You’ll find them on Reddit, MMM forum, and at the park at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday.
Best wishes on your podcast and pursuing the new dream!
Cheers!
-PoF
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, PoF!
You’re absolutely right that there is a divide between those who are transparent about FIRE being more of a career switch and those who just gloss over it or don’t admit it at all.
I just grew tired of all of the gimmicks, and click-bait, and listicles. I’ve done them myself and realize they just don’t make me happy on any level and I don’t feel they add any value.
Most people, at least the ones that regularly read my blog, aren’t in a position to retire early. They’re just trying to be better at managing their money and saving for the future.
They don’t need advice on how to implement a restrictive clothes-buying ban for their family. They just need inspiration to do money better each day.
I believe balance is key to a happy life and that’s the direction I’m taking this blog. It took a lot of soul-searching, analysis, and guts to finally speak up about this transformation, but I made it and I’m letting loose. For better or for worse. 🙂
Ditto to what POF said. My brother did retire from software engineering at age 35. Truly retired. He had/has a blog that he never monetized. Just him and his musings about coding, science and technology. Recruiters stumble on his his blog and occasionally contact him. He ignores them. You will find him at the park at most mornings and watching movies in the evening. And of course my home every Thanksgiving- he never has to ask for vacation days. Nice perk.
I forgot to mention he retired 13 years ago.
That’s fantastic! Unfortunately, we made a lot of financial mistakes in the beginning and found FIRE too late to save enough to accomplish all of our goals.
I’m with you – ‘retirement’ is never having to work again.
I know when I pull the pin on my job, I’ll be in a place where I’ll not be working again.
Exactly!
I agree with you 100%! It wasn’t until I found out about FIRE that I started dreading my otherwise awesome career/job. I gave up on the ER part about 2 years ago when I decided that I no longer wanted to be a homeowner and instead would like to rent (which just last month came to be). The FIRE movement would call me crazy for selling my paid off house to pay rent each month and that’s when I decided to part ways with the movement. I’m still aiming for FI, but only in the event that I need to leave the workforce for health reasons, or to help my aging parents with either time or money.
I’m still going to put away as much as I can but I’m enjoying life so much more now that I’ve loosened the reigns and I’m spending money on things I enjoy and that make my life better. It also frees up a lot of mental space.
As a side note, I’m a Gen-Xer whose parents paid for college and I’ll be eternally grateful for that. I can think of no better way to pass down generational wealth than ensuring your daughter starts her adult life free of student loan debt. There’s no question that I’m in a much better financial situation than most of my friends because of what my parents did for me.
Thanks for reading, Kate! Yeah, we’re definitely still pursuing financial independence for a multitude of reasons, but we’re not going to retire early just because we hit a pre-defined number.
I’d rather have much more money than I need than just enough or, in some cases, not enough. I’ve also decided I’m not willing to deny myself all luxuries to get there early. No biking to work for me. No way. Balance is my new middle name and I plan to enjoy the ride.
Preach!
I’m a card carrying member of the “Retirement Police” because words mean things. And self employed doesn’t mean retirement. You might be FI, but not FIRE if you have a job/business. I’m not down with “retirement is just what it means to you”.
I also resonate with your points about hating your job for being a job, like the man is keeping you down somehow because you aren’t yet freed by FIRE. I think work is not only lucrative, it’s valuable. When done appropriately it’s good for the soul.
Sounds like we subscribe to the same school of thought. Work is definitely valuable and means more to most than they realize. Thanks for stopping by, Retirement Police! 🙂
Good article. Too bad your husband’s job was not more reliable and had benefits than you could have “retired” and he could have continued to work. For the last century people called this being a stay at home parent. But in today’s online blog world, they call it being retired. Then you could have boasted on your blog about how you retired early and how you get by on your small income, of course you do not include your husbands income into your budget, and you do not have to include healthcare cost which is huge for most families. I am glad you see through the smoke and mirrors many of the FIRE bloggers post about and realize that just because you do not “work for the man” does not mean you are not working.
I will continue to look forward to your new direction in your world.
Wow…I hadn’t thought about that! If my husband’s job becomes more steady, which is a definite possibility, I could call it quits and be stay-at-home-parent. I mean, ahem, I could “retire”.
A wonderful and fully thoughtout and thoughtful posting. It was honest. It was heartfelt. I too loved my career. To give it up for money and “retire”? For what? I loved medicine. I loved my colleagues. I loved my patients. I truly loved using my mind. I was doing what I was meant to do. And I had self respect and collegial respect. My wife and children were proud of me. I retired only because I was “tired” at 72. Do I miss it? Nope. Am 78 now and love my serenity. Love my fresh squeezed orange juice and coffee in the morning. Walking with my wife during the day. Watching grandchildren play their sports. This is what I was meant to do NOW. Not when I was 40.
Fresh squeezed orange juice, midday walks, and fun with grandchildren sounds like a wonderful retirement to me. I hope I am so lucky when I finally do walk away from my career.
Love your post. The lifestyle isn’t for everyone.
I have always been pretty open about not liking the extreme frugality that some live by with FIRE. While, I work towards FI, I am not 100% sure about the RE. I am looking into rentals (any tips would be greatly appreciated 😁) and would love to have a rental portfolio. I do think, I would quit my job if I could, but not sure if I would stop “working”.
Thanks for writing!
Thanks for the kind words! Yeah, we definitely could not stomach extreme frugality for the long haul. It just turned into unpleasant deprivation for us. In my opinion, that’s not a life worth living.
As far as rentals go, we only have one so far. As soon as it’s paid off, I think we’re going to purchase a second one. We could purchase a second one now, but I’d prefer to keep our debt load to a minimum. Leverage is great but it can also be a financial killer. I’m sure many people would disagree with our rental portfolio approach. We also use a property manager. I like knowing I have a responsible company that covers all the legal bases. Not sure I could do that on my own. Sure, it cuts into our portion but it’s worth our peace of mind. Screening tenants is probably the #1 thing you can do to make sure you have a successful venture. Good luck!
BTW, we’re still pursuing FI, as well. I’ll be writing more about that in future posts.
Thanks for swimming upstream and speaking truth. We are a family of 7 and in our early 40s. We were set to retire in 5 years. I became a slave to the movement and felt like I wasn’t really enjoying life or even time with my kids. A year ago we sold our house, bought a slightly larger one and set our plans a few years behind. We took two family vacations last year and we have experienced so much joy. It’s all about balance. Thank you for this post. ❤️
Yes! I love it! If a bigger house and 2 vacations in a year works for your family and financial forecast, go for it! We took a vacation last summer to Arizona and we’re planning a Yellowstone trip this June. In my opinion, there isn’t a better use for our money or time. We will forever cherish the memories we make on these vacations. It’s so easy to get sucked into the concept of FIRE that it’s almost scary. Ultimately, we just weren’t enjoying our lives and knew we had to switch gears. So glad and so relieved we decided to speak up about it.
I do have to say that this post resonated with me a lot. I go back and forth on pursuing FIRE. I want the FI part, but I also love my job. Plus, my wife and I just adopted a little boy and that has changed some of my thinking. Like you I want to provide him with a life of traveling, vacations, and the like. I didn’t have those growing up and my wife didn’t have many either. He will see 3-4 continents by the time he is 18 if I have my way and that takes income. Plus, I love what I do for a living. It is very secure and I get to engage in international travel that is paid for because of my university. I wouldn’t want to give that up for anything. Finally, I want to leave my adopted son generational wealth so he won’t have to struggle like I did. That doesn’t mean he won’t work (I will make sure of that) but I want it to change his future or “change your family tree” as Dave Ramsey would say. And I want him to pass that on to his children, my grandchildren, and so on.
I love the FIRE movement, but I also think that it can be a bit self-serving. People are so focused on getting themselves out of the rat race that maybe we owe it to others to give back (e.g. spread financial literacy, give more, do more). I have thought about that a lot lately. We may get shut out by many, but if we can inform others as a larger mass movement then I think it can truly be a “movement.”
Thank you so much, Jason, for your comment. And, BIG congratulations on the new addition to your family. It sounds like your little boy has wonderful parents that aren’t just putting themselves first.
I was a little hesitant to publish this post but I grew tired of not speaking my mind and watering down my thoughts and content to appease most people. Like you, we’re still pursuing financial independence, but we’re doing so to build generational wealth and change our family tree. I am very aware of that Dave Ramsey saying and it’s one of my favorites because it resonates with me.
Congrats, again!
Congratulations on your escape from the FIRE echo chamber.
I so related to your comment about click bait titles and listcicles. I’m one of the few Boomer bloggers out there. The benefits that come from a corporate job are a huge deal. My wife has fantasti benefits at her work. She doesn’t love her job. But if she stays another 4 years, we get the same benefits through retirement with the company paying 60% of the costs. As a self employed advisor and blogger, if we paid for that healthcare on our own, the costs would be ridiculous.
I’ve read so many bloggers who get caught up in the hype of FIRE. I worry they are livining someone else’s dream. They were happy in their jobs until they read how unhappy others were. They saved money consistently. But they read about how much more others saved and felt like failures.
Thanks for sharing your journey. I hope your story inspires others to rethink their own journeys.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Fred! I feel like I would be a fool to walk away from my corporate benefits. The money is one thing, but the benefits are quite another.
When we were pursuing early retirement, I looked into what it would cost for healthcare for our family of 3. I’m referring to good healthcare – like the kind we have now. I think the costs were between 1,500 and 2,000/month. That is an incredible amount of money to pay out of pocket.
Congrats on your financial journey and corporate bennies 😉
I love this post! Thanks for being so honest about your feelings. We’ve never been shooting for early retirement, yet I always feel guilty (every single month!) when I post our “spending” report. Because we’re not frugal. But we’re still saving a boatload, have reached our dream of location independence, and plan to retire a decade out when our youngest goes to college. We’re living our values, which is, in my opinion, the best way to live. I’ve taken a year off of work this year, to get our kids settled in our new state, and I’ll be honest. It’s been… pretty boring. Even with freelancing and blog writing and working out. I, like you, look forward to the brick-and-mortar and the interaction with coworkers. I need lots of social interaction for happiness. Plus, earning a salary is awesome. I miss that. Looking forward to reading more! 🙂
Congrats on living the life that best fits your family. It’s true that the pursuit of FIRE made me also feel guilty about buying a latte or going out to eat. No one needs that. I don’t have anything against FIRE or extreme frugality if that’s what someone wants to do, it’s just not sustainable or enjoyable for my life. I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s also not sustainable or enjoyable for most people.
We’re also saving a big chunk of our income toward FI and don’t see the need to never buy new clothes or not go on vacations to save even more. At some point, unhappiness from deprivation outweighs the financial benefit. And that’s not how I want to live.
Ha! We ran into the same sort of thing with chasing FIRE. We never went the extreme frugality route, but Mrs. SSC decided she didn’t want to retire early on; ironic because she started this whole thing, lol. We reframed it as a Fully Funded Lifestyle Change and worked towards that. I kept working and saving and Mrs. SSC left the O&G industry to teach and took a major paycut.
Because we’d gotten so far ahead it didn’t affect our lifestyle change timeline. When she got a tenure track position offered to her, even though it was a couple years ahead of schedule, I quit work and switched to stay at home dad. That was last year and it’s been great so far! She’s working, I’m retired and volunteering with kids school and CASA and taking care of the house and home.
My point is, good job making your journey yours. It doesn’t have to follow anyone else’s and finding what works best for you and your family is key. Good luck finding what you all want out of life and how you can make that work best for your family. It’s awesome when you figure it out.
Ooh…I love the idea of calling it a fully funded lifestyle change!
Congrats on shaping the best life for your family, as well. It’s so easy to get caught up in what people are selling on the internet. I’m glad we finally had the ability to step back and really analyze what we were buying.
Great post I agree w you 100 percent I am for FI so I have that security but To say “retired ” and have other jobs or businesses isn’t retired I always thought that and didn’t like how the leader of the movement says he is retired when he is busier w his businesses FI and pursuing a passion to earn money even if it’s less than your career job is great !! But it’s not “retired” I am also a gen x maybe we just think deferent
Healthcare transportation cost new car etc these are things I don’t think the Fire movement realizes how much they can set you back and go up in the future
Love your blog I need to subscribe
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Rick. Yeah, maybe it’s the Gen-X in us coming out, but I definitely agree that a lot of people saying they’re retired aren’t retired at all. Life can be super expensive with and without children and biking to work just isn’t an option for me. For one, it’s not safe at all. And two, I don’t want to do it.
Well, you’ve always questioned things as I am remembering your FIOR article! Good for you on making a choice that is right for you and your family. I think it’s normal and natural for people to evolve and tweak directions.
I’ve always known (even before hearing of the FIRE movement) that I would retire to something whether it be volunteer work, mission work or something of the like. Additionally, I won’t mind if some of my post-retirement pursuits generate some kind of income. The point is that retirement, to me, means that I won’t need to generate income. I do try to be transparent about this though.
Additionally, I’m all for enjoying the ride…whatever that looks like for a person.
All the best to you!
Hi Deanna! Thanks for stopping by and your thoughtful comment. It really is about making the best decisions for your life.
I’m not anti-FIRE necessarily, I’m anti-FIRE for my family and our goals. And I don’t like it when FIRE bloggers inspire others to retire early without being transparent about how much they earn in early retirement. It’s a bit misleading and folks buying into it might be making a BIG life decision without having all of the facts – especially the people that read a blog or two but aren’t inside the community.
Yep, thanks for explaining.
Thanks for sharing your post. Can I just say that I love your daughter’s glasses! Love her smile! My son has glasses too and he looks so cute 🙂
I haven’t told anybody I’ve been retired since 2013. Gave it a go for about 9-10 Months or so and then I started just telling everybody I was a writer or a solopreneur.
But I’m tired now after 10 years of FS. Wanna really take some down time and spend time with family.
I’m glad you guys found relief and I hope your new chapter is fruitful and full of joy!
Best,
Sam
Thanks for stopping by, Sam! Yes, running a blog as big as yours must be very tiresome – especially with a little one running around. .
I don’t often put pictures of my daughter on the blog, much less make it the cover photo. Had I known this post would take off like it did, I would’ve chose differently. Oh well, thanks for the compliment! She hates wearing glasses but she loves that they’re blue. 🙂
Well please tell her I think she looks great in glasses for me 🙂
i think i’m a little older than you but not much at 51. mrs. smidlap is a few years older still. i never cared much about full transparency because i read everything with the somewhat skeptical eye of a real adult. i would caution any younger person to do the same and question things and think independently at all times. the world is not here to hold your hand and coddle you. even though i write in what i consider the personal finance space i also never liked market acronyms much or anything called a movement. it reminds me of someone on an info-mercial shilling some kind of “system” for success.
we might be a little like y’all except we didn’t love our jobs about 5 years ago. i was working all kinds of nights and weekends but making a lot of mandatory overtime money and thought: i gotta stop doing this, which is still true. so we paid off 100% of our debt and started saving/investing more aggressively but never to the extreme. we never took a lifestyle hit and still drink good wine every day. hell, we never even maxed out a 401k in any year but amassed a nice nest-egg. that came handy when mrs. smidlap’s office of 22 years closed a couple of years ago and at the same time i took a different job with better hours but that came with a pay cut. it’s been 2 years and so well worth it. a funny thing happened with enough money in the bank too. the old JOB was much more relaxing knowing i could leave it if it reverted back to the old way and mrs. smidlap has the ability to be very selective about any part time work she accepts. i consider her semi-retired with a part-time temporary job that ends in may. i’ll keep working as long as it doesn’t suck because we like some nice things that our investments wouldn’t necessarily cover at this point. the world can define our status any way they want as we don’t care.
now that i’ve written you a short novel i agree with most of what you’ve said except for the disney. best of luck.
Haha…thanks for your extremely thoughtful comment! Let me be clear about Disney, I have no desire to go back anytime soon. I just wanted my daughter to have that as part of her childhood experience. 🙂
Just when I think I can’t be anymore inspired by everything I’ve learned in the FIRE community since January of this year I come across a post like this. I love everything you have said here. We have so much in common and reading this I just kept thinking Yes! Yes! I just listened to your episode on Choose FI and then found your blog. Thank you for putting into words exactly some of the feelings I have about being in my 40s, recently finding FIRE, with kiddo, working with benefits, and aiming to build legacy wealth but not being caught up with the “RE” part. The FI part will get us to financial security, paying for kiddo college, supporting our elderly family, and having a nest egg for ourselves so that maybe RE for me might be around 59 instead of 75!! Preach!!
YES! Thank you so much for your comment and for listening to my Choose FI episode! I am all about financial independence, but the idea of retiring early just isn’t realistic for most people – especially for people with all the financial obligations and goals you just listed. Contrats on your own journey. We’ll get there!
Thank you for sharing this perspective! I’ve also been trying to clarify my own personal goals regarding FI and early retirement. Similar to yourself and your husband, I actually love my job. I feel fortunate to have landed my dream job straight out of grad school, and so the pursuit of FI for me is not actually so I can just up and retire. Rather, for me FI means greater opportunity. If I decide I want to take a year sabbatical and travel the world, but my employer won’t let me, well… at least I have years of income saved up to cover me in the interim. Not everyone in pursuit of FI needs to be as aggressive with saving. Personally, my fiance and I have decided there are certain things we’re not willing to give up, because they truly make our lives more full. Some would argue that’s financial suicide, but I think of it as giving ourselves a healthy balance.
I’m glad to see you representing one of the very many variations of a financially responsible way of living!
Elise
I enjoyed reading this post. I’ve also read many posts about FIRE and realized real quick that my journey had to be on a path that worked for ME, and that meant focusing on the “FI” more than the “RE”.
At 55, I’m working on creating as much financial security as I can before I retire, and I don’t expect to be able to retire early. The latter is okay, because I like my job, it has great benefits and I’d be a fool to give it up. I’ve done the work-at-home thing (sold AVON, wrote web content, worked fulltime as remote medical answering service operator and a remote data entry operator), and you don’t get the “time freedom” you would expect, and you have to work more to achieve the success you want. And working from home can be isolating.
Besides, I like being able to occasionally buy something nice (but not too expensive) for myself, and I honestly can’t get with living like a pauper when I’m earning an income.
Very good article.
You’ve summed up the essence of what I think we should write more about….”Financial Responsibility, Wise Choices”. Of course that doesn’t make a good acronym….
When I first encountered the FIRE movement, I was impressed by the man from CO who had retired early…then read about some of his other “income producing” work…and to me, it sounded exactly like the construction jobs I had done in earlier life.
Manual labor sounds like “work”, to me.
I found that Financial Responsibility…where you put money away (Save, and Invest), and make wise choices with your available money, leads to Financial Independence. That, in turn, allows further choices….whether that be blogging, manual labor, or doing some other work that you find fulfilling. Or doing no work at all…..
Nicely written, and a good injection of sanity into the world of personal finance.
Fire is hope for people that don’t love there jobs
Or there jobs stop loving them
If your next boss is an a hole or you stopping loving your job for any reason then what?
When you turn 50 and your job you love says bye bye and the next job you get pays half those that saved for a possible fire will be ok and those that did not will struggle
Everyone should plan on FI at some point in Your 50’s because the data show most people are forced to retire early than they planed for because of health reasons or Age discrimination.
Fire may be out of reach for most but so is finding a safe secure well paying job that they like.
So hope for the best but plan on fire at some point and at a pace that allows for pizza night
We’re trying to figure this out too. Gen X, no kids, I grew up on the poor end of middle class but lots of other privilege, discovered FIRE or at least PF blogger universe about 10 years ago. DH was rich but didn’t know it (stealth wealth!). DH is terrified that if he stops work he will be super bored (he works so much he doesn’t really have hobbies… he’s working now 8:45pm on a Sunday). I’m a bit worried about this too. Also, I’m not super frugal. I like clothes and jewelry (though I’m trying to cut down on online shopping for eco reasons and it’s a stretch to say I NEED anything else). And vacations are awesome. But I want to have the ultimate in “f- you” money. I want to be in a position where if the crap and bureaucracy get to be too much I can walk away. Or, I can cut back my hours without worrying that I’ll get enough project work. Which means saving for fatFIOR, I guess. And I’m not so spendy that I can’t manage to save 50% of net 😉 As someone coming from not a lot of money, I really appreciate the options that having loads of money saved gives me in life.
I hear you on extreme frugality fatigue. We set a goal during maternity/paternity leave to retire by 35 because the math worked out effortlessly at the time. That’s this fall. Since setting that goal, we’ve moved twice and are raising a daughter too. It’s tough sometimes with our self imposed retirement goal. I think it’s actually made us resent work more, knowing that if we just made one little tweak (moving again to a LCOL area) we could both retire now. Or the knowledge that at this point we’re only working to cover our tax liability, which would be reduced by relocating. I do miss the days before I knew about FIRE, since ignorance is bliss. However, this community has opened up so many amazing friendships and experiences for us.
Wow! Congrats on such amazing progress in your 30s! I do most people I have met through this community and am definitely glad I stumped upon it back in 2015. For us, we just stumbled upon it a bit to late to retire super early. Plus, we have a ton of familial obligations, including our parents, that are likely going to need our financial assistance in the future. You’re so right about that last bit… Ignorance was bliss!
Congrats on starting up a podcast!
My feelings on early retirement have always been mixed. First of all, I definitely disagree with the term “retirement” for a lot of the people espousing it. Second, it’s just not feasible for me. I’m getting too late a start I’m afraid, so it’s kind of moot. Third, even if it weren’t, I’m not sure what I’d do with myself in retirement. As it is, I have too many hours in the day to fill now that I’m divorced (which is a good thing, but it definitely left me with a lot of free time).
So yeah, I’ve never really embraced the movement, and I’ve always wondered how many people were overly villainizing their jobs because of the lens of early retirement rather than actually hating the work. When people refer to their jobs as “prison” I tend to roll my eyes a bit. I think FIRE can definitely lead to a distorted view of a job you really might not mind that much.
I’m glad you figured out what works for you. And that you’re allowing yourself some indulgences. It’s not all about living for the future, especially now (obviously).
Thanks, Abigail! I like how you stated that people might be villainizing their jobs because of the lens of early retirement. I think you can drop the mic now. 😉 That’s definitely what happened to me.
Thank you for sharing your story! It highlights the importance of not chasing other people’s dream, whether that’s the “American Dream”, or the “FIRE dream”. You do you! I for one, never believed in “suffering” for the future. Instead, I found a creative solution that allows me to save and pay off debt (living abroad).
Everyone’s situation is different, but I wholeheartedly believe in enjoying life to its fullest on the journey. Look forward to following yours!