How My Perspective Of The FIRE Movement Changed After Turning 40

I used to be forever young. I’m not kidding. At least, that’s how I viewed myself and the relationship I had with life.  I would often look at other people my own age and even younger and think they seemed WAY older than me. I just had a tendency for embracing youth and believed I would live to be 100 years old and stay in perfect health. That all changed when I hit 40. And along with that, so did my perspective of the FIRE movement. 

I don’t often talk about my age on the sight because I really do identify with the younger crowd and try to avoid being seen as “old”. Well, I’m letting the cat out of the bag today. It’s not a surprise that I’m a member of Generation X, however, that’s pretty vague in terms of actual age. My actual age is 43. Gasp! There. I said it. And in fact, I’ll be 44 this coming September. Yep, I’ll officially be in my mid-40s in just a few months.

So, why does it matter? It matters because I can’t believe how my perspective of the FIRE movement has changed since cresting that middle-age marker.

Let Me Just Cut To The Chase

After hitting 40, I started to realize there are 3 categories topping the list of important things in my life:

1. Family

2. My Health

3. Enjoying the Moment

Now, I know you must be thinking that those 3 things would make me want to chase an early retirement even move, but for me, it was the exact opposite. Since my husband and I are are earning nice salaries but nowhere near investment banker salaries, we would need to really cut back in every aspect of our lives to reach that dream. Then, once we got there, we’d need to be very cautious with the way we spent our money and cross our fingers we didn’t have a major health catastrophes before being eligible for Medicare. All this added up to just not being worth it.

Perspective On FIRE In My 30s

Before hitting the 40-year-old mile-marker, I still felt like I had a lifetime ahead of me. I’ve always been late to every party. What do I mean by that? It took me more time to graduate from college than normal because I went part-time. The pursuit of my graduate degree didn’t commence until I after my 20s were well behind me, and I put off buying a house and getting married until my mid-late 30s.

Due to my delayed progression in nearly every slice of life, I have always identified as being younger than I am actually am. And since America doesn’t seem to value age as much as it does youth, I was just fine with keeping up the charade. So when I stumbled upon the FIRE movement in my late 30s, I was all about it. After all, I hadn’t checked off all of life’s boxes yet. I was still a single gal just finishing up my master’s degree and starting to date the future Mr. MMM. Basically, in my mind, I was just like all those young millennials writing about their journey toward an early retirement.

Although I had a home, a daughter, and a successful career, I still had some big events in front of me, so the concept of living a mighty lean life for quite a few years in order to achieve financial independence seemed like the absolute right thing to do for my family. After all, I had gobs of time in front of me, remember? Life was good, I tell ya.

Perspective On FIRE In My 40s

Then, I hit 40 and I experienced a culmination of reminders that my life is finite. Although I’ve always been and thought of myself as healthy as a horse (whatever that means), I realized that I was aging, despite my identification with the younger crowd.

I noticed for the first time that it wasn’t as easy as it used to be to maintain my ideal weight and my body was starting to make cracking sounds every now and then. And I just didn’t feel as limber getting out of bed as I did before turning 40.

As if that wasn’t enough, my first mammogram exam yielded a suspicious area that required more tests, including an ultrasound and a 6-month follow-up visit. Thankfully, nothing was found and all exams since then have been normal, but it was a slap-in-the-face reminder that things can and do go wrong. And aging is the main factor in those things. As a biologist by trade, I knew this very well and was slowly beginning to realize that these rules of nature also applied to me, despite my forever young mentality.

On top of my first mammogram debacle, my eyes decided to go blurry on the day I turned 40 – okay, that might be an exaggeration but it certainly felt like I was falling apart after that milestone birthday. When I couldn’t ignore the tension headaches any longer, I dragged myself into the eye doctor and purchased my first pair of real glasses. Sigh. The next year my eyes were worse and I needed a stronger prescription. The next year not only did I need a stronger prescription but I also needed bifocals and was told I have cataracts starting in each eye. Not to worry though, the doctor assured me that they’re so tiny I won’t have to address them for at least a couple of decades. Yet another big sigh.

Wait that’s not all. Just before my 40th birthday and getting married I went to see my OBGYN to discuss the possibility of having another child. I mean, I knew I was getting up there but I certainly didn’t have a problem the first time around. Turned out, I didn’t have many viable follicles left. That meant a donor egg would need to be a high consideration. And that means a huge expense along with it. Even though my corporate job provides 25k toward fertility treatment, it doesn’t cover donor eggs. Wow, I never incorporated that expense into my FIRE plans to live off of 4% after reaching our goal.

So, although I still feel very good and I have nothing to complain about in terms of my overall health, I am cognizant that my health (and everyone else’s) is fleeting. It doesn’t matter how many miles I run or how many salads I eat, I am getting older and nothing will stop that.

Enter FIRE from my new 40-something perspective. I was still all about the FIRE movement and retiring early until all of these health issues crept into my life. And to be fair, I acknowledge that they’re not REAL health issues. They’re just reminders that the years are taking their natural toll on my body.

In light of accepting that my health will likely not get better with age, having high-quality health care has suddenly become a MAJOR deal for me and my family. Health care is expensive and I want to make sure I’m covered in every possible way. To be completely honest, the health care solutions that some early retirees adopt don’t give me the warm and fuzzies. Since I don’t hate my day job, I’d much rather keep my corporate benefits and have the peace of mind that they will cover X, Y, and Z than hope I stay healthy enough to not pay exorbitant out-of-pocket costs with a less desirable/flexible plan.

Related:

• F.I.O.R. – Financial Independence Optional Retirement
• The Looming Retirement Crisis And Steps You Can Take To Avoid It
• Rightsize Your House If You Want To Increase Your Wealth

The Older I Get, The More Options I Want

After turning 40 and realizing that staying healthy into old age isn’t a guarantee, I shifted my view of FIRE. I was also no longer enamored by extreme frugality in exchange for enjoying my life now with my family. In the same breath, I also came to realize how much I actually don’t hate my cubicle, despite how I felt I was supposed to when chasing FIRE.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re still chasing financial independence and we’re still very frugal. I mean, I super-glued my 10-year-old shoes back together the other night. But now that I’m sitting on this side of the middle-age fence, I’m not willing to never go out to eat or stay in crappy hotels or take a chance with my health care plan just to “retire” early.

My perspective after turning 40 is that I want to enjoy my life now and make sure I have plenty for later. Having a job isn’t a bad thing either. For most people, myself included, a job you mostly enjoy is worth its weight in gold in terms of feeling productive, interacting with like-minded individuals, and being financially secure.

Not only do I want to feel productive and financially secure, but I also want to have options. I want the option of switching jobs or quitting altogether. I want the option to pay for my daughter’s college, wedding, or whatever she chooses to embark on. I also want the option to go on a 4-week family vacation to relax, explore, and make memories. For me, I’d rather have the things listed here and keep the corporate job that affords it than live a spartan lifestyle of clothes-buying bans and no TV just to retire early and sit around the house.

And before someone yells at me, I’m not suggesting that all early retirees are just sitting around the house to not spend their savings. What I’m suggesting is that the majority of people with families can’t save enough money in a truncated amount of time to be able to afford it all – a comfortable and enjoyable life now and later.

Related:

PODCAST: Episode 3 | Why We Stopped Chasing FIRE For A Happier Life

Real Money Talk For Real Life

By no means am I anti-FIRE or not supportive of anyone inside the FIRE movement. However, in my opinion, chasing an early retirement for most people with families just isn’t a realistic goal.

So instead of encouraging you to cancel cable and ride your bike to work, I’d rather focus on encouraging you to just be smarter with all major financial decisions. You don’t have to cut cable or swear off lattes if you right-size your home and don’t drive a gas-guzzling SUV 50 miles to work every day.

By getting the big things right, you can enjoy the little things on a more regular basis. And if you’re not planning on an early retirement but rather a comfortable retirement somewhere in your 60s or even early 70s, you’re much more likely to get there with a family if you hold onto that job of yours.

Just Like Ferris Bueller Said Back In The ’80s…

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”