Growing Up Poor Was My Single Biggest Financial Motivator

September 7, 2018

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It’s certainly no secret that I grew up poor. And when I say poor, I’m talking 8′ x 50′ trailer livin’ poor. Although I must admit, despite being poor, I never had to worry about having enough food or our home being warm in the winter. So, things could’ve been much worse. For all intents and purposes, though, my family was poor. I was poor. And THAT turned out to be my single biggest financial motivator. 

It’s not every day that someone attributes growing up poor to financial success later in life. For me, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, that growing up poor had a positive impact on my childhood outlook that lasted long into my adult life…and continues to this day.

Growing up in a trailer on the right side of the tracks afforded me some advantages that others in similar situations did not receive. I will own that and admit to it.

One advantage of the location of our trailer was being able to attend a good school district.  Another advantage I enjoyed was having a stable, loving home life complete with 2 parents,  3 siblings, and a pet.

My advantages allowed me to feel secure enough with my basic needs (food, shelter, etc.) to dream of a life in the distant future that did not so closely resemble the one I knew as a child.

But the disadvantages I experienced growing up in that trailer, were what really fueled my desire to chase a better life. My disadvantages motivated me to chase higher education and financial independence as an adult. And for that, I am thankful. Let me explain.

Disadvantages Of Growing Up Poor

Growing up poor, trailer
My brother and I sitting on the porch.

Like I mentioned earlier, growing up poor was a fantastic motivator for me to chase my goals to live a life with more options but it certainly wasn’t without its limitations and disadvantages.

Obviously, growing up poor meant we lived in a trailer and, socially speaking, that was the kiss of death for me as a child attending a highly-rated public school. I was different and I knew it. I can’t say I was teased, but based on what I gathered from society and media I knew I should be embarrassed. And I was.

In fact, I was embarrassed about living in a trailer as a child for decades into adulthood. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I started to pursue financial independence that I was able to own that piece of my life and talk about it freely with anyone.

Today, I am proud of my humble beginnings because that shaped the person I turned out to be. The biggest disadvantages I can recollect from growing up poor are listed below.

The Disadvantages I Experienced:

  • Living in a trailer court
  • Feeling ashamed of my home and situation
  • No health insurance
  • Limited guidance to further my education/change my situation

Growing Up Poor: My Single Biggest Financial Motivator

Each disadvantage listed above contributed to my desire to improve upon the station I was handed at birth. Let me dissect just how I turned each disadvantage into a motivating factor that has changed my life and, hopefully, my family tree for generations to come.

Living in a trailer court

Make no mistake, I had a BLAST growing up in that trailer. Our tiny home was in a constant state of immaculate and both my mother and father did their very best to make sure we always had the basics covered, with the exception of hot water for a period of time. But that was no biggie, we heated our bath water on the stove and it worked just as well. No one had to know. 🙂

Aside from hiding our lack of hot water, I couldn’t hide the run-down condition of the other trailers in the neighborhood or the fact that we had 6 people living in our 8′ x 50′ abode. All I ever wanted was MORE SPACE. I wanted a BIG suburban house with a second floor and my own bedroom.

The desire to acquire a REAL house and provide my daughter with more space and her own bedroom motivated me to achieve financial success as an adult. So I did.

Feeling ashamed of my home and situation

I was so ashamed of where I lived that I could feel my face turn every shade of red whenever a new kid at school found out that I lived in a trailer court. I have vivid memories of getting off the bus and walking up the road past the trailer court as if I didn’t live there if I spotted someone new riding home with a friend.

The thought of never feeling ashamed of my situation again and making sure my daughter never experienced that feeling either motivated me to achieve financial success as an adult. So I did.

No health insurance

Fortunately, I was a super healthy kid and didn’t have to deal with medical issues; however, I can remember wanting to play soccer so badly as a kid and not being able to sign up for a team because we didn’t have health insurance. I can even remember bringing home the pamphlet to purchase health insurance if you didn’t have it privately or through an employer.

The pamphlet had a kid with a broken leg on crutches and it cost $100 for the season, but that turned out to be too salty for my parents. So, no soccer for me.

The concept of my family not having adequate health insurance and my daughter missing out on opportunities (no matter how small) motivated me to achieve financial success as an adult. So I did.

Limited guidance to further my education/change my situation

My parents didn’t graduate from high school let alone college. My guidance counselors were overworked, underpaid, and stretched too thin to help a single, quiet, mediocre-at-best kid find her way through the college application process and into a promising program.

In addition to very little guidance from home or school, I also didn’t have any financial backing from my parents.

To say I was rudderless is an understatement.

After high school graduation, my parents expected me to immediately gain full-time employment and make my own way. I landed my first full-time job within weeks of graduation. I was a grill person at a local McDonald’s. Most days I worked from 3:45 AM until 1 PM.

Without any financial backing or emotional guidance, I had to observe the people around me that I deemed successful and model my behavior accordingly.

The lack of knowing how to pursue a college degree in order to better my situation fueled my desire to figure it out and make it happen. So I did. 

Growing up poor, VW bus
Things weren’t all bad. My dad was ultra-cool with his VW Bus.

 

Shifting From Deprivation To Abundance

After overcoming my humble beginnings and changing the course of my life, I realized there is so much more to life than money. Money really isn’t the goal. What I really wanted were options. Money has given me options.

Ultimately, shifting my mindset from a viewpoint of deprivation to a viewpoint of abundance has catapulted me to a level I never knew existed. I have finally arrived at a place where I feel like my family has a wonderful life even if we don’t live in the biggest house in town.

Granted, we’re never going to retire in our 30s (literally impossible at this point). We certainly haven’t done everything right from the beginning and we definitely made a ton of financial and emotional missteps along the way. Thankfully, we have finally figured out the financial piece to ensure our family has stability and security well into the future.

All of our basic needs are met and we have quite a bit extra to boot. The feeling of pursuing our dreams is a good one – even if we’re still not quite across the financial independence finish line.

What’s that old saying? Getting there is half the fun! That is so true.

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My Fear As A Mother

Despite having achieved the life I only dreamed about as a child, I sometimes second guess the life I have built for my daughter.

Remember a few paragraphs ago when I said I was proud of who I am today thanks to my humble beginnings? Well, that is absolutely TRUE. However, one of my biggest fears as a mother is that I am providing too much for my daughter. She doesn’t know what it’s like to be embarrassed by her situation. And she certainly doesn’t know what it’s like to have to fight for anything.

I don’t think she thinks of herself as privileged (even though she most certainly is in my opinion) – I don’t think she thinks about it at all. In her young mind, I believe she feels this life I have worked so very hard to create for her, complete with health insurance, cash in the bank, a beautiful home, and vacations is, for the lack of a better term, normal. This was not my normal at her age. And that’s what motivated me to fight for what I wanted. I have what they call grit. Will she?

Obviously, I am doing my absolute best to make sure she appreciates how hard  I worked along the way to give her this life. But let’s face it, appreciating what someone else has done isn’t the same as having to fight for it yourself. So, will she be motivated to fight for her dreams? I truly hope so. But only time will tell.

My Favorite Tools To Reach Financial Independence

Now that I’m well past feeling ashamed or embarrassed of my past, I am able to live my life with clarity and embrace the things that truly make me happy – like the people I love. And since I’m well on my way to achieving financial independence, I thought I’d share some of my favorite financial tools.

  • Personal Capital – This is our favorite FREE net worth tracker.
  • Mint – We love Mint for budgets. And it’s also free.
  • LendEDU – A tried and true resource for refinancing student loans to save money.
  • SoFi – Another trusted resource to refinance your student loans.
  • Experian – A great place to check your credit score while dumping debt and improving your finances.

If you happen to be starting your financial journey and need a little direction, sign up for my FREE course to help you get moving in the right direction.Growing up poor means different things to different people. To me, it meant I had to work harder and fight longer for everything I wanted to achieve. I did. And this is my story. Financial Independence, Financial Freedom, FIRE, FIOR, College, Financial Plan, Debt Freedom via @MadMoneyMonster

 

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6 Comments

  • Lisa, I understand completely. Both my husband and I were both brought up in similar circumstances. It’s hard to say we were poor, because like you we never lacked for food, shelter & clothing. My husband’s mom was a single mom and he suffered a bit more, no electricity, being home alone a lot, being embarrassed someone or a teacher would notice his situation. But like you, we worked hard together to build a family and nice home with all the things we didn’t have and I can say that like you today we are grateful for our parents and now understand their struggles to provide and they did the best job they could. We just celebrated our 40th anniversary and are retiring this year. We remember to treat every day and every gift as a blessing and to be thankful. We were given strong roots and that was more important than money. I enjoyed your post today, and there are probably a lot of us who have shared similar situations.

    Reply
    • Thanks so much for commenting and sharing some of your story, Mary Ann. Congratulations on your accomplishments and your 40th anniversary!

      Reply
  • I had a very similar childhood. We lived in a trailer that embarrassed me, our electricity was shut off from time to time, and I have a distinct memory of going to the bank as a small child with my mom to close my savings account because my parents were filing for bankruptcy and needed the money. As an adult, I am a single parent, but I also have an education and a good paying career and can take care of my child financially in ways my parents could not. You are right—it is a blessing to have a poor background because you understand people and the world in ways that a more well-off child may not. I have the same concerns as you for my kid, but I hope making him work chores for extras and participating in volunteer work can help him stay motivated to work for what he wants.

    Reply
    • I am so glad I am not alone in thinking that everything I have worked for to make a better life for my child could potentially NOT be the best thing for her. My daughter also does some volunteer work and she is around my mother often – who is still in a terrible financial position – so hopefully that opens her eyes a bit to the importance of hard work and dedication.

      Thank you very much for sharing your story!

      Reply
  • I think it’s hard to predict how parenting will affect our children as adults. My parents never said no to anything like soccer and we had health insurance, but I watched them write knowingly bad checks at stores and fight constantly about credit card bills. I had a night when I wept at the piles of junk in the basement and thought, “This is could have been my college tuition.” I was ashamed of the wastefulness of their abundance and their inability to use the resources they had in a way that made any kind of logical sense (spend $100 in Toys R Us or on back to school clothing, but then dig for change in the couch cushions to buy food at the grocery store). I grew up wanting, but feeling ashamed of that want because we weren’t poor, and all our physical needs were met and then some. Your parents gave you what stability they could; you are able to give your daughter more stability because of your financial success. That is incredibly valuable. You might be surprised by how she interprets her own childhood and develops resilience.

    Reply
    • You’re right. It’s nearly impossible for me to predict how my parenting style will affect my daughter in the long run.

      Your story is definitely eye-opening. It sounds like you even realized it when you were living it. That’s incredible insight for a child.

      My parents also made silly mistakes with money. Although my parents covered the basics and didn’t really go into major debt, they spent any extra money on making sure I had nice clothes and popular toys at the expense of their own retirement. Ultimately, they didn’t save a dime for their future. Hence, why I am currently subsidizing my mother’s living expenses. Fortunately, I have the means to do so.

      Thanks for your thoughtful comment!

      Reply

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