How To Keep Your Friends If You’re Frugal

March 19, 2018

If you’re anything like us, you have embraced (or are on the verge of embracing) frugality. We absolutely love our selectively frugal lifestyle because it forces us to make smart money moves while allowing us the freedom to spend money on things and experiences that we value…like road trips across the country. Unfortunately, though, frugality can be a roadblock when it comes to keeping friends. 

5 Tips To Keep Your Friends If You’re Frugal

So just how does someone keep their friends while embracing frugality? We tested the waters on this one and came out on the other side with the same friends we had before jumping the frugal fence. If you’re looking for some pointers to ensure you keep your friends after frugality, read on for 5 quick tips.

1. Don’t Turn Down All Invitations

The first thing you need to do to make sure your friends don’t scatter to the wind after you announce your commitment to frugality is to NOT turn down all invitations. Your friends are going to be supportive and want to hear all about your new lifestyle and they’ll likely be genuinely fascinated and want you to succeed.

They’ll also turn right around and ask if you want to go check out the new Vietnamese restaurant that opened up downtown. Trust me when I tell you this, they’re not doing this on purpose to sabotage your success. They just don’t expect their life or their relationship with you to change just because you decided you’re going to adopt frugality.

It’s important, though, to not turn down all invitations when offered. Do that and you’ll get to stand by and watch your friends drop off your radar one by one. Before you know it, you won’t have any idea what’s going on in the inner circle anymore.

Fortunately, you have options. Frugality doesn’t mean you have to sit at home without heat or A/C reading library books by candlelight – even though that sounds pretty awesome.

Hiking, friends if you're frugal
Hiking is one of our favorite frugal activities. Mr. MMM in Vermont in this pic. 🙂

2. Suggest Frugal Alternatives To Spending Money

One of the easiest ways to maintain your friendships and not spend as much money as you used to is to suggest frugal alternatives when an invitation to attend a concert or football game rolls in.

You’ll probably be surprised at how quickly your friends agree to something a little less pricey. You might not realize it, but they probably aren’t happy with the amount of money they spend on fluff either. They might not be ready for full-blown frugality, but they’re probably going to be just fine with a less expensive entertainment option.

Never underestimate the power of a backyard BBQ or game night at your place.

I’ve had great success with suggesting cheaper options to my friends. For instance, my one girlfriend and I used to always meet out for dinner and drinks. Two hours later we both had a good time and we were both $50 lighter. Ugh. After adopting frugality, I often suggest we just hang out at her place or mine and maybe grab some fast food.

Yes, we still go for dinner and drinks – occasionally. Going out every few months instead of every few weeks makes a huge difference in our bottom line and we’re both happy to save the money. It’s been a win-win. Woot!

3. Brunch And Coffee Never Go Out Of Style

Remember, going out doesn’t have to mean you’re dropping a ton of money. Brunch and/or coffee are trendy and probably always will be. Why not suggest hitting up a new coffee shop or meeting for brunch instead of trying the new sushi restaurant?

Again, unless your friends are secretly wealthy, they’re likely going to be happy with a less expensive alternative.

4. Remain Active And Involved

Forget frugal, go for the gold! Go for FREE. What do I mean? I mean, when your friends text and want to go shopping, tell them you’d rather go check out the rail trail on your bike but need a buddy. If you can successfully substitute shopping with exercise and fun, you should probably start a frugality blog of your own. 🙂

But let’s just say your friends aren’t having it and they’re still hitting the outlets, no problem, you can either go along and spend minimal money, or you can skip it and get together next time when they’re doing something a little less spendy.

As long as you remain active and involved in the lives of your friends, they’ll remain active and involved in your life, too. Remember, texting and calls will keep your friendships fresh and they don’t cost a thing.

Other articles you might like:

Mad Money Cat - friends if you're frugal
Mad Money Cat spends money on fancy foods. #goodtaste

5. Spend Money If It’s Warranted

Now, if you’re just starting to embrace frugal living you might want to go full force and not spend a dime on anything that isn’t going to ensure your immediate survival. And while that can be commendable and really propel you in the direction of saving tons of money and reaching your financial goals at lightning speed, it might not be the smartest thing to do for your happiness.

I know, I know, you’re likely sitting there shaking your head wondering how that couldn’t be smart if you’re reaching your goals and leaving everyone else in the financial dust – well, that’s kind of the point. You’re leaving everyone else in the dust, including your friends.

Although I love frugality and you love frugality, not everyone is going to jump on the frugal bandwagon. I’m certainly not suggesting you give up your more spendy friends unless they subscribe to your school of financial thought. Instead, try to find a happy medium. You might not be able to say YES to every invite out to dinner or the movies, but saying yes here and there means you’ll keep your relationships and most of your money.

Well, there you have it. Hopefully, this quick and dirty list will ease your mind. If you do it right, your friends won’t scatter when you embrace frugality. And if they see you benefitting, they might even embrace it with you!

5 Quick tips to make sure you keep you're friends even if you're frugal. Frugal Living | Frugality | Saving Money | No-Spend Fun | Frugal Weekend | Frugal Fun via @MadMoneyMonster

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9 Comments

  • Honestly if your frugal enough that your losing friend and it bothers you, your probably cutting the wrong things. The ideal way to save money is not deprivation but mindful spending. Spend on what you enjoy and cut out the rest. So in the case of friends , if they truly are your friends you shouldn’t be afraid to spend money with them. You should direct the activities to lower cost items and keep it under controlled. But if spending time with them is what you value then that should be part of your spending to some degree.

    Reply
    • I agree with you. AND if your friends don’t want to be friends because you’re not willing to spend money to do stuff, maybe they aren’t real friends anyway.

      Reply
  • We’ve get togethers at our house since we moved in almost 7 years ago, so everyone has just come to expect it. It didn’t start from a place of frugality, but it sure is a great way to see friends and keep it cheap at the same time 🙂

    Reply
    • Sounds like a great time to me! We love hanging out at someone’s house. So much more comfortable than going out.

      Reply
  • So true! I moved to a new area a little over a year ago, and I had to have an eating out line in my budget if I wanted to make friends. I joined a bunch of groups, but the real socializing takes place in a restaurant before or after it seems. I am just really careful; I order an app or sandwich instead of a full meal.

    Reply
    • Exactly! Going out for dinner isn’t totally off the table (no pun intended), you just have to be smart about it.

      Reply
  • I kind of think that the more frugal options are more fun anyway. I have never had more fun than when it’s just having friends over for a bonfire or to play Cards Against Humanity. Those are the kind of nights that your abs are sore from laughing. PLUS, you can do that in your PJs. You don’t have to get all gussied up and wear uncomfortable clothes all night!

    Reply
    • I so agree with you. I love having people over or going to someone’s house. It’s so enjoyable and mostly free!

      Reply

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