Relationships Are Much Easier Without Debt

Today, I want to celebrate relationships! As many of my long-time readers know, I have had my ups and downs when it comes to relationships. I’ve been in good relationships and bad ones. Because of this colorful past of mine, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, that money plays a BIG role when it comes to the health of a couple. So in celebration of Valentine’s Day, I’d like to share how we do money and how much easier our lives are without debt. 

We Destroyed Our Debt

Valentine's Day, chocolate cake, without debt

Delicious cakes Mr. MMM made for me on our first Valentine’s Day.

When Mr. MMM and I started our relationship quite a few years ago we were totally normal. Normal meaning we had debt. We had student loan debt, car debt, credit card debt, and mortgage debt. We were basically The Joneses with the exception of healthy retirement savings.

So just what made us rethink our normal ways and adopt frugality and a purposeful lifestyle? The answer lies in the fact that we almost dove headfirst into a lot of debt by buying a really expensive house that we didn’t need and couldn’t comfortably afford. Phew, that was a mouth full.

After waking up in a panic (not even a joke) a few nights in a row, we took our opportunity to cancel our contract when the home inspection came back with a less than stellar report. We both breathed a sigh of relief and almost instantly vowed to never put ourselves in a similar situation again. Soon after that found the FIRE community.

We decided to adopt a frugal lifestyle, live a purposeful life, and start a blog to keep ourselves accountable and entertain a few souls along the way. And the rest is Mad Money Monster history.

Since then, we have kept to our financial commitments, eliminated our debts (except for the house), and have had the luxury of watching our net worth skyrocket. I can tell you that taking our financial health seriously and making wealth-building a priority our relationship has gotten much stronger.

And since we don’t have to worry about money anymore, we can worry about more important things – like how to celebrate this day of love!

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How We Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Since I love having an excuse to celebrate anything and everything, I love Valentine’s Day! For our very first Valentine’s Day together, we decided to make each other a homemade gift and get Chinese takeout. I ended up painting a canvas of Godzilla (a childhood favorite) for Mr. MMM, and he made me a decadent dessert with his own little hands. 🙂

That all happened when we were living 2 hours apart. Unfortunately, the day we planned to celebrate was also the day Mother Nature dumped a bunch of snow in Mr. MMM’s area. But that didn’t stop him. He braved the weather and roads and made it to my house. Looking back, it wasn’t the smartest decision, but we were young and stupid.

Now that Valentine’s Day is here, we can’t help but celebrate it in our way. Today, we’re going to exchange a few smooches and tell each other the traits we value in the other person. We absolutely love taking the time to do this from time to time. It makes both of us feel good, and by exchanging a few affirmations we inevitably encourage the continuation of the behavior. It’s truly a win-win.

love, dog, cat, without debt

Love is in the air. #not

Did I mention we’re also going to splurge on a dinner? Whoa…don’t get too excited. When I say splurge on a dinner I mean Chinese takeout. Yes, we’re spending a little bit of money, but we don’t mind spending a few dollars on ourselves and the nostalgia for our first Valentine’s Day together. We love tradition.

No Debt No Problems

While it’s not exactly true that having no debt equals no problems, it certainly does push a healthy relationship in that general direction.

By eliminating debt, we were able to eliminate a lot of stress caused by financial pressure. Not surprisingly, not having debt-related stress freed us up to use that energy on other things. You know, like our relationship. 🙂

Has debt ever had a negative impact on your relationships?

2 comments… add one
  • Michelle Feb 15, 2018, 1:54 pm

    My husband and I did virtually the same thing! Only we went with greek takeout–which was still cheaper than going to a fancy restaurant. I’m sure chinese takeout is as well.
    I also made two little chocolate cakes for us.
    Isn’t money like the #1 thing couples fight about? I don’t think my husband and I have ever fought about money. We aren’t in the financially independent circle (yet) but we are both equally cheap. Really, really cheap.
    I think you have a great Valentine’s Day tradition! We shouldn’t need to buy things for each other to feel loved.

    • Mad Money Monster Feb 16, 2018, 9:21 am

      Greek takeout! Love it! Yeah, that’s pretty much the same thing. Ours was delicious and we definitely plan to continue the tradition. 🙂

      We’re not FI yet either, but we’re getting closer each day!

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